We believe in “Happy Child, Happy Family” concept and hence, make sure to provide the best for them.
Now the question is ‘Can a parent be a friend? Or is it good or bad to be a friend to your kid?’
Well, let us understand this concept with a few real life situations.
- Do you know your kid’s friends? Their names and parents?
Now, let us understand this by a small activity. The next time when you meet your kid’s friends, ask them a few questions about your kid like his/her favouritecolour, food, teacher, subject, game, activity, cartoon, good points, bad points and the interaction pattern with their parents.
So, how many answers did you already know?
A bit of tough time it might have been. That is not a difficult task I guess. Their friends know the answers because they spend time with them.
Spending time with your kid in this hustle bustle life plays the most important role.
- Does your child find it difficult to be on time?
Well, that’s like an everyday situation, right?
Running behind them
Showing you to be ahead of them
Ever tried a thing called “being with them?”
Silly you might feel, but try competing with them for brushing the teeth and make them a bit quick by first winning and then losing. Compete with them for writing work. Whoever finishes the work first will get a box full or colours/ stars/ an extra hour of outdoor games, etc. They will not only be on time but will also respect time.
You need to make sure that your child looks at you with respect and friendliness. You are an amazing and excellent professional individual, but let that stay only at work and not with your kid. Try being a loser in a competition with your kid and you shall win his/her heart forever.
- When was the last time you played with them?
Last month! Last week! Do not remember!
No matter what the age of your child is, it is mandatory for you to play with them. You have had them learn the things you wanted them to learn. Now, why can’t you learn the things that they like? From playing in a park to playing street cricket to cycling to doing silly activities to playing video games, it is compulsory for you to understand and learn their interests and be a part of them.
When you don’t understand them then there comes a time when they will not be able to understand you. Which I guess is a problem already seen and faced. If you want your child to understand you then you must give enough time to understand them.
- Is it important to scold your child if he/she does anything wrong?
Well, to scold a child when something wrong is done is a custom. Being a dominating or an authoritarian parent, it comes naturally to scream when something wrong is done. Imposing restrictions and rules are like the most compulsory habit in parenthood. Remember the times in your childhood when you were asked NOT to do a certain thing and you definitely would do it because it was said not to do it. Or ever seen a spring? Consider your child to be the spring, now press it with restrictions and rules, and now at one moment of time it will be difficult to press it and your finger will pain. The moment you relax your finger, the spring will jump off and you will find it away from you. Hiding things, lying or making excuses will then come into existence. That’s the impact on a child in long term.
Try and accept your childthe way he/she. Your child will never lie or hide things from you if you accept and respect them the way they are without imposing things as per your likes or dislikes. Do teach them what is right or wrong in a way that they learn it from heart and head.
- Ever told your kid that you are small, you won’t understand?
It is ok to feel that with toddlers but not with the kids elder than a toddler. Again, it is ok to feel that, but it is not ok to say it to them. You need to be a counselor to your kid. You must motivate them and appreciate them no matter how many times they fail or fall. It is important that they find in you someone who can help and always be there. Just because everyone’s doing something or the other with their kids, doesn’t mean you also have to follow the same. No, you do not need to force them into anything by proving them better than any other kid. It is literally very important that you consider them as unique individuals with unique capabilities. They are not born to copy anyone. And you need to be a light that will help them guide to be someone with a personality and creativity of his/her own.
Don’t blame your child for not giving you time when he/she grows up, because then, they might just be in the same position as you are right now. Work is important no doubt, but giving your child time is a bit more important. On one hand see yourself in their shoes, and on the other hand imagine them in your shoes, you will realize you need to redo the priority list now.