You might be thinking as to what effect communication can have on a child who can’t even write, read or understand the linguistic basics!
Well, you will be amazed to know that an individual creates the firm foundation of thinking patterns by the age of 14 years and any change after that is just a mere play of adaptation or adjustment. The communication you do as a parent to a child when he/she is 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 5 year, 10 year or 14 years old is registered in their head and heart forever. Now the beauty is, because they don’t remember it when they grow old, those memories are already there in their mind and it can trigger suddenly when they are faced with such same situations. The whole nature and behaviour of your child depends basically on the way you have communicated with your child in childhood.
Let us be awake from this very moment.
The communication here is not just the verbal communication. It also included the non-verbal or kinesics too. Your body movements, postures, expressions, etc. they all play utmost important role in building your child’s nature. As an adult you might have heard people saying or you yourself might have said it someone to be positive,but ever thought, why is it that to be positive holds a special place!
So, here comes an answer to that, our thoughts and beliefs are key builders of happiness or sadness in life. The thoughts are like magnets, you think good, they attract good and vice versa.
Try starting a day with a good thought and calm head, the day will definitely be good. Now imagine, if our thoughts affect us so much, how much they might be affecting a little one who doesn’t even have a thinking of his own. Your child is a result of all your actions and words. Loud noises, screaming, fights, hatred, grudges, frustration, anger, etc. create a deepening impact on your child since the day he/she is born.
Happy or unhappy
Full of life or lonely
Arrogant or down to earth
Helpful or mean
Intelligent or dull
Success or failure
Normal or deviant
Obedient or rebel
All of the above things are possible depending on the kind of communication you do with your child. Now when we have seen both the sides of this coin, let us see a few things that will lead to a good side of the coin.
MUST DO’s and DON’Ts
- SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILD.
Try and avoid showing the importance of your work when they are around and still manage your work. (Do not forget that they are going to manage a lot of things for you in future.)
- EAT YOUR MEALS WITH THEM.
This inculcates family values and importance of family togetherness. No matter how much work you have, have at least one meal of a day with them. (One day you might be waiting for them for a meal together and they might be running for work because that’s what they have seen.)
- BE INVOLVED IN THEIR WORK.
You need to participate in the daily struggles that they go through. Their home-works, sports, friends, etc. you must know them all and also be a part of it. (There might be a day that you need their help and they won’t realize its importance.)
- TALK IN A POSITIVE FRAME.
Talk positively and with a happy tone. Saying you shall pass your exam next time is better than saying you have failed. Avoid don’ts, won’t, No, Never, and similar negations. Try and convey the message with positive words and expressions.
- ALWAYS BE THERE WITH THEM IN ALL THE SITUATIONS OF LIFE.
You need to be there with them in the major events of their life. Visit their school when they have a sports day or annual day to cheer them up. Be with them when they fail or fall. Be there as the strongest pillar without being judgmental and imposing your expectations.
- TRUST THEM
It is one of the most crucial elements in making of the nature or behaviour. The more you trust them , the more they will be with you and share.
- DO NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
It is common to have a fight in a house. But the impact it leaves on a child is dark, very dark. They can become fearful, afraid or scared, never be able to take responsibilities, work in a team, etc. It can also make them a rebel or someone who will like a life in isolation later in life.
You must give enough time to your child for a better development. You must motivate your child for even the minute step that they take. Appreciate their creativity until it is harmful for them. Let them create their own likes and dislikes as a unique individual. Be everything to them, as you would want them to be, later in life with you.
They are correlated and directly proportional. What you give is what you get back.
-Mitali Verma (firstname.lastname@example.org)
For more information like: like our fb page